


Sometimes, all you need is your Steve

by TaamiB



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stucky - Freeform, can be read as platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7724692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaamiB/pseuds/TaamiB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Captain America: the first avenger. After Steve rescues Bucky from the Hydra camp, Bucky suffers from what happened to him. There will be tears and a lot of cuddling.</p>
<p>This is my first work, so please be kind <3</p>
<p>I don't own any of the characters or the original story that inspired me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes, all you need is your Steve

When Steve entered the tent in which the army used to eat together, he was surprised to not find Bucky in his usual spot.   
It's been four days since they returned to the camp, and every morning and every evening since then, he met up with his friend in one of the corners in the back of the tent, where they could spend their time without as many people around them.  
After letting his eyes wander over the crowd for a few seconds, checking if Bucky was sitting somewhere else this time, Steve sighed quietly and turned around to leave the tent again.  
On his way through the camp, he crossed paths with Peggy, but she claimed to haven't seen Bucky around at all since the early afternoon.  
Worry began to spread in Steve's chest. It wasn't Buckys style to just disappear for hours and letting others do the work.  
Fastening his pace, Steve hurried over to Buckys and his tent, hoping to find him there, because after this long and exhausting day, he didn't really feel like running around in the woods, searching for his best friend.  
Steve pulled the curtains of the tent slightly to the side before entering the tent, making sure to not disturb anyone by whatever they might be doing. After all, there weren't enough tents in the camp for everyone to have their own, and he wasn't all too keen to see one of their tent mates without a decent amount of clothes on.   
Spotting Bucky on the bed, alone in the room, Steve let out a relieved breath and silently stepped into the marquee.   
He slowly walked towards his friend, who had his head turned towards the wall, back facing the Captain.

„Buck?“, Steve asked in a soft voice, not wanting to startle his friend in case he was sleeping.

To his surprise, Bucky answered with a muffled „Mhm“, not moving his body the slightest.

„You're awake.“, Steve stated with a smile, more to himself than to the other man.

When Bucky didn't respond to his words, Steve took the last few steps that seperated him from his friends mattress.  
He sat down next to Buckys lower back, letting his eyes wander over the lying man. Steve couldn't see much of his face, but he was able to recognize the slowly healing cuts on his temple, and that Buckys hair was moist, either from water or from sweat, Steve didn't know.  
He gently placed his hand on Buckys shoulder, stroking him through his shirt with his thumb.

„You alright, pal?“, Steve asked, almost whispering.

It took him a few seconds to react, but eventually Bucky shook his head 'no', burrying his face deeper into his pillow.  
Steve tightened the grip on Buckys arm.

„Talk to me Buck, please. What happened?“

Instead of answering, Bucky turned around to lay on his back, facing his worried friend.  
The light was very dim inside the tent, but Steve immdiately noted the red circles around Buckys eyes, and the laying man looked pale and almost frightened.  
Out of instinct, Steve reached out one hand to gently cup Buckys cheek, a pungent pain spreading inside him. Seeing Bucky hurt pained Steve just the same.  
Before Steve could ask again, Bucky raised both his arms to take hold of the other mans shoulder, pulling him down so that he could wrap his arms around Steve and burry his face in the crook of his neck.   
Without resistence Steve let Bucky do what he wanted, even though it was an uncomfortable position that made his back sting after a few minutes.  
He wasn't able to see Buckys face anymore, but he heard him taking sharp inhales every now and then, and the warm wetness on his skin let him know that his friend was crying, again.  
Steve tightened the embrace he had around Buckys upper body with one arm, while he moved the other to bring it up to Buckys head, letting his fingers carefully wander through the messy hair, stroking it slowly in the hope to calm Bucky down.  
Hearing Bucky sob made Steve feel as if he was about to cry, too.   
It had never been nice to see anyone sad or hurt around him, but when it was coming from his best friend, the most important person in his life, it was almost unbearable.  
Shifting around, carefully not to rock Buckys body too much, Steve eventually laid down next to the other man, pulling the others body half on top of himself, wrapping both his arms around him as Bucky rested his forehead against the spot underneath Steve's earlobe, his hot breath tickling the skin on Steve's throat.  
Almost desperately, Bucky slung his arm around Steve's waist, as if he was scared his friend might just suddenly disappear if he doesn't hold him tight enough, and started to sob violently, not even trying to hold himself back anymore.  
It wasn't the first time Steve hold his friend while he was crying, but he felt just as overwhelmed with the situation as always. He knew that he could probably try to talk Bucky down, but then again, that never worked and he didn't know what to say, either way.  
It took him a minute to recall it, but eventually he remembered the melody of one of the songs his mum used to sing to him whenever he was sick or upset about the bullies at school, back when he was a kid. Even though it wasn't exactly a children's song, it never failed to make him feel better.  
His mother had a beautiful voice, and everything felt warm and comfortable when she sang.  
Almost inaudible, he began to hum the melody, uncertain at first. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, he would've almost find it funny how different the song sounded, hummed with his own, deep voice instead of his mothers' soft and lovely one.  
He knew well enough that it didn't sound nearly as soothing as he remembered it, and he wished genuinely that he could comfort Bucky just as much as his mother used to comfort him, but his action still didn't seem to miss its purpose, because after a few minutes, Bucky relaxed lightly and his crying became quieter, his breathing calmer.  
Steve didn't stop humming the melody, though. He repeated the song again and again, until his friend eventually stopped sobbing, and let his head rest against Steve's chest, exhausted and spent.   
Again, Steve brought his hand up to stroke Buckys hair, and without thinking twice, he placed his lips against the other mans forehead, giving him a gentle kiss.

„Do you want to talk about it?“, Steve asked in a low voice, his lips still touching Buckys skin.

„I wouldn't even know what to say.“, Bucky answered, almost inaudible. Pulling his legs towards his upper body, he curled up against the Captain.

„Try, either way. I'm sure I'm able to understand you, after all these years.“, Steve said with a tiny smile, even though he knew that Bucky couldn't see it.

His friend took a deep breath before beginning to explain.

„I just.. I don't know what's happening to me anymore, Steve. I feel as if I'm not able to function properly, even though I wasn't injured that badly.   
I-I can't even remember what they did to me, it's as if there's a giant cloud inside my mind whenever I try to recall it. At first I thought I got hit against the head and the strange feeling would disappear after a few days but it's still here and I feel so helpless and.. I don't even know, I feel as if they did something surreal to me, but I can't get a grip on it.“, Bucky mumbled with distress in his voice, and Steve had a hard time understanding every word.

„And Steve..“, Bucky continued, the fear in his voice changing to devastation. „I killed so many people. So many men who won't ever return to their kids, their wifes, their parents. How will I ever be able to live with myself again?“.

The pain in Buckys voice made Steve feel as if he wasn't able to breathe anymore, it was like having a asthmatic attack. He has seen Bucky scared and worried before, but it had never been like this. This was a whole new dimension, and it frightened him.  
The man in his arms didn't sound like his confident, optimistic friend anymore. The man in his arms sounded broken, and now it was Steves turn to tear up.  
Trying to stay strong, for Bucky, Steve blinked a few times and swallowed hard before speaking.  
„You did what you had to do, Buck. War is ugly, and it's terrifying. I haven't seen much of it yet, but I've seen enough to know that. It will get better, I'm sure.“, he tried to comfort his friend, but he knew that his words probably meant nothing right then.

„What if I can't? What if I won't be able to recover from this, if I'm just broken?“. Bucky's voice broke at the end of the sentence, and Steve closed his eyes for a second, trying to stop the tears from coming out. His heart felt as if it was about to burst out of his chest and shatter into a million pieces.

„We'll get through this, pal. You don't have to deal with this alone.“, he whispered before placing another kiss on Buckys head, this time into his hair.

Again, Bucky burried his face in the space between Steve's throat and his collar bone.

„I think I'd be completely lost if you wouldn't be here with me.“, he said, and it almost sounded as if a chuckle accompanied his words, only that it was completely joyless. „I'm trying, Stevie, I promise I'm trying, but it's just so hard. I feel like I'm losing my mind, I can't do this alone.“, Bucky whispered, sounding scared and exhausted at the same time.

„But you don't have to do this alone, Buck.“, Steve repeated, lips moving against Buckys skin, while his right hand found it's way under Buckys shirt to make his touch more noticeable, to make his friend feel as much as possible that he's here with him, that he won't leave him alone with everything. „I'm with you... 'till the end of the line.“

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> it was my first fic and I'm not a native english speaker, so please be kind :)  
> comments and suggestions are more than welcome!
> 
> The song I thought about was 'My blue heaven' by Gene Austin :)


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